I thought my blogging days were over.  After all, it’s been two years since my last post.  I blame my inactivity on Laura moving to NYC with me in November, 2014.  I was suddenly happy again, no longer lonely and had no need to “express” myself through the words on this blog.  Then the Election of 2016 happened.  The two worlds I have lived in and loved were suddenly at odds, battling over social media, no longer showing tolerance for anything that opposed their particular world views.

Much of what I say here will likely upset both sides, but it comes from my unique perspective.  I don’t intend to express my political opinions, because they are just that….mine.  What I did with my vote is between me and my Maker (and Laura).  The most I’ll say is the choices in this election were abysmal.  The Nation chose…and it is what it is.  My goal is to hopefully bring a little light to the darkness, a little understanding to the confusion and a little hope and love to a country tearing itself apart.

Just for background, I was born and raised in deep red country (Mississippi, Georgia and Tennessee).  My family came out of the coal mines of West Virginia.  The South is and always will be home.  I love fried food, country music, College football (GO DAWGS!) and the Church centered communities I have grown up around.  Four years ago, Laura and I wanted to expand our horizons and live in a new region of the country.  We wanted to experience a new culture and have an adventure.  When our kids left the house, we moved to New York City.  I created this blog to document the transition as it happened.  We were fortunate enough to live on the Upper West Side (UWS) for two years, Long Island for one year and SoHo for the last year.

The four years in NYC were an amazing adventure.  I learned to love Sushi, Thai food, Prosciutto and real meatballs.  The culture was beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  Often on my walks on the UWS, I would hear angelic sounding Opera singers practicing on the street on the way to Julliard.  The theater scene gave me a love for musicals I didn’t know was possible.  However, the biggest surprise was the people.  I fell in love with the diversity of the City.  The different cultures came together to knit a beautiful tapestry that expanded my understanding of the world. I learned to love the Jewish people of the UWS with their beautiful feasts and love of community.  On my team at work I was fortunate enough to manage people from 8 different religions and 22 different nationalities.  I loved watching the Diwali (festival of Lights) celebrations, learning about Ramadan from my Muslim friends and hearing the stories about the Russian dances that filled the bars on Brighton Beach.  I made friends in the City that will be like family for the rest of my life.  I found the people of NYC to be brash and hurried, but deep down, kind and considerate.  NYC became my adopted home.

We’re back in Nashville now and so happy to be home, but the people I built relationships with in NYC will always be like family.  My Southern family just happens to be fiscally and socially conservative with strong, traditional values.  My Northern family is typically socially liberal with a strong conviction to stand up for the oppressed and those they view have been marginalized.  Both have great strengths and great weaknesses but have always found a way to work together to find common ground….until now I feel.  The caustic nature of this election has brought out the worst in both sides.

Message for my Conservative Family

To my Southern friends and family, there are a few things I think we need to be careful about.  The last 8 years have been tough.  We had to watch jobs disappear, especially in the coal mines and factories.  We had our values attacked and were made to feel guilty for our beliefs.  We were called intolerant and uncaring when we knew there was nothing further from the truth.  But we have to understand, Trump is not the answer to our problems.  He will not restore the country to become a Christian nation.  My feeling is that we have never really been a Christian nation.  In fact, that notion doesn’t stand up to my understanding of Scripture.  We should be unusual and set apart by our love for one another, not our love for a particular political position.  We need to ask why there are many that feel frightened by the current political climate.  We need to seek out those that may be disenfranchised and build relationships with them, find out why they feel the way they do and then love them.  We need to hear their stories and share our own.  Only then can we bridge the gap and heal the divide that is tearing us apart.

Message for my Liberal Family

To my Northern liberal friends and adopted family, I have a few things to say.  The election of Trump was out of economic concerns, anger and fear.  The Progressive agenda of the last 8 years achieved many things most of you were passionate about but also came with a price.  You took your gains too far and weren’t satisfied with winning, others had to lose.  Over zealousness on the environment cost tens of thousands of jobs in the coal mines and the rust belt.  Instead of collaborating with coal miners on ways to improve pollution, laws were passed that decimated the industry.  Anyone who disagreed with the liberal social agenda and programs were demonized and made to feel guilty for their beliefs.  When people are pushed into a corner, their natural reaction is to push back.  Trump was that push.  The way forward is to work with those who have very different views from your own.  Understand why people who have lost their jobs and even their industries are afraid.  Try to understand that just because someone doesn’t share your social views doesn’t mean they are mean-spirited, bigots or racists.    You have a lot of love and tolerance for others, I’ve seen and felt your kindness and generosity.   Be willing to open your hearts and collaborate with those you disagree with.

Conclusion..

I know there are fringe radical elements on both sides that are conducting violent protests and others that are spray painting swastikas in schools.  These are just a loud, very tiny minority.  The majority  of people on both sides are wonderful, caring individuals who have more in common than differences.  We all want good jobs, we all want to care for the most vulnerable among us, we all want peace in our communities and we all want to feel safe.  We might disagree on the mechanism for obtaining these things but we can agree on the goals.  We all have to be willing to listen to each others stories and be willing to talk to one another, love one another.  We are stronger and better together than we are apart.

I can’t believe that it’s been 4 months since I’ve updated the blog.  I blame it on Laura.  There is a direct correlation between her moving here and joining me in NYC full-time and (a) my happiness (b) my weight gain (c) not updating the blog.  I’ve come to the realization that writing the blog is not only an update for family and friends on my NY experience but it was therapy for me.  It helped maintain a connection between both of my worlds (TN and NY).  Now that Laura is here, I don’t NEED the blog.

However, enough “stuff” has happened that I feel the need to bring you up to speed.  Speaking of speed, with Laura moving here and all the kids either married (Jessica), in grad school (Jessica and Erin) or in college (Conor and Cassie), we are officially cruising in to the world of “empty nesters”.  Look, if you’re going to begin a new phase of life, there is no greater city to cruise into and explore than New York.

Through this blog, you know how much I love the City, but you may be asking, “How is Laura handling the change?”.  Well, great question, I’m glad you asked.  Laura moved to NY a few days after we took Cassie to MTSU near Nashville.  So, for a while it was really tough on both of us.  Cassie is our baby and the thought of her being in college not near any family was disconcerting.  There were the typical tears, prayers and phone calls multiple times a day….and that was just me.  Laura cried of course but we both knew Cassie would be ok, she’s our most independent offspring.  When she was 10 she told me she was ready to get her own apartment.  It took Cassie a couple of days, but she has settled in nicely.  Laura and I drove to NY and it started to really sink in that this was the first time in 28 years that she could do what SHE wanted to do.  There was no one that needed her constant attention.  Her days as a short order cook and chauffeur were behind her.  It was tough.

So, with that as a backdrop, we started our life together in the Big Apple.  For a month, the City overwhelmed Laura as it does to virtually everyone that moves here.  The senses are attacked 24×7.  New sites, smells (good and bad), constant lights and noise have a disorienting effect.  Not knowing the best routes to take to any destination whether you should walk, ride a bus or subway is really tough when you’ve been dependent and attached to a car all of your life.  Cars offer a bubble of safety, a sanctuary where one can escape the outside world while comfortably transporting you from one place to the other.  Buses and subways….not so much.  Plus, in NY it’s you and 8 million of your “closest” friends.  Laura felt vulnerable and exposed.  She felt like everyone was watching her.  After a month or so, she settled in nicely and can now travel with the best of the New Yorker’s.  But after the shock, what are her thoughts about her new home (one of her homes because home will ALWAYS be in the South).? Well there are good things and bad:

BAD:

• Noise, and lots of it.  Constant sirens.  This has lessened over the months to a non-issue because you learn to block them out, ignore or just play music and TV louder than the outside distractions.
• Lack of space – closeness of the building, and everything – no wide open spaces
• Busyness – she describes walking around the City as a constant game of frogger – people need to learn to WALK ON THE RIGHT!
• Dogs pee and poop on the sidewalks, she walks on the sidewalks….enough said

GOOD:

• Food, food and food – restaurants everywhere and they are amazing.

• Proximity to everything – we live next to a Whole Foods, there is an amazing coffee shop in our building and shopping on 5th Ave is second to none.
• Decor – NYC is a visual masterpiece whether in the restaurants, the buildings or the parks

• Adventures – always something new to see.  Historical sites, culture, architecture, bridges, on and on.
• Culture – Broadway, open air concerts, movies, museums and shows of all kind – top talent.
• Touch of home – We love our UGA sports bar – American Whiskey (owned by a UGA grad) – perfect spot for watching football games.

• Exploring – Great new places like the woods of Westchester, Long Island, Mystic Connecticut, Sleepy Hollow not to mention all the places to explore in the Concrete Jungle itself

• New Friends with a totally different world view – one raised in South Africa, one Jewish woman who loves bacon.
• Old Friends – Having Phil and Susie Bagrow in our building has been a huge help and has provided a great connection with home.
• Me – I added that one (actually she said it, but I wrote it) 🙂

Bottom line is that we are nicely cruising in to a new phase of life with all the good and bad that accompanies major change.  We miss the kids and family terribly but keeping the house in TN helps us maintain a true home.  Plus when they visit, they are all ours.  On the good side, the change opens up so many new adventures and we are embracing them fully.  In fact, we have another change coming in a few days.  On November 18, we are moving to Long Island.  More about that coming soon…

A lot has happened since my last post just a few short weeks ago so this update may seem a little disjointed.  First, the annual Southern Living Big Apple Barbecue was this month.  This is where some of the best barbecue masters in the country bring their “gifts” to NYC.  I love it because most of them come from TN, NC, AL, TX, SC and other places that instantly transport me home.  A little Southern invasion of the North.

It’s like a little slice of paradise in the middle of Madison Square Park.  Not only are the cooks from the South, but the event draws a ton of Southerners that live in the City and brings us together for one special weekend.  Needless to say, it’s a great weekend.

Even more exciting, I had the opportunity to take 4 friends from the City home with me to TN.  Now these 4 friends are real New Yorker’s, born and bred.  I not only took them to TN but introduced them to the way we have fun in the South.  With the help of Kent Holmes (worlds greatest river guide) and Brad Self I introduced them to all the fun a day on the Upper and Lower portions of the Ocoee River can muster.  This after a night spent out in the woods (not quite roughing it but close).  They escaped with only minor damage (smashed knuckle, concussion, major bruises and a few cuts and scrapes). To their credit, they adjusted well and actually had a blast.  All the river people in Polk County welcomed them with open arms (along with a little bit of mischievousness…).  They learned to love the South and appreciate the pace and the people.  The last night, Laura made a great barbecue dinner and we had a nice evening sitting around the fire on my back porch.  After this little adventure, I still think it would be harder for someone from NY to adjust to Cleveland than vice versa.  It truly was a special weekend that will become an annual event.

Even more exciting than that, Conor came back with me and will be staying in NY for the summer working as an intern here.  I can’t tell you how special it is to have family here after a year and a half.  He’s been here two weeks now and is adjusting well.  He and I are having a blast.  I asked him to to give me his thoughts about his first few days living and working in the City.  Here’s what he said in bullet form:

• A lot different from what he thought it would be
• Culture shock
• Enjoys the City
• Misses home, especially all his friends
• Getting comfortable slowly, can move around the City at ease now
• Likes being here, but could never live here
• Enjoys the City

The first weekend he was here, we went out to Governor’s Island, right off the Southern tip of Manhattan for the Porch Stomp bluegrass festival.  That made us both miss home.  There are large houses on the Island that used to house military commanders.  The island was once an army base (1783 – 1966) but has been converted in to a huge park.  Bluegrass and folk bands were playing on the porches of the houses.  The music was great but I just enjoyed spending the day with him.

Getting to show him around and introduce him to the City I’ve come to love has been a huge lift for my spirit.  My daughter Erin and two of her friends are coming this week to stay with us and enjoy the July 4 celebrations in the City.  It will be amazing having two of my kids here for a week.  There’s nothing like family!

Speaking of family, I’ve saved the best news for the end.  I am headed home next week for a few days (special birthday for my Dad) and I’m bringing Laura back with me.  Finally the drought is over.  We’ll be together again full-time in NY.  It’s been way too long and in a few days, I’ll have the love of my life by my side every day.  I may never let her go!  We’ll get to come back to TN in August to move Cassie in to her dorm at MTSU (I can’t believe she’s going to be in college) so our empty nest will be in NYC.  I can’t wait to see Laura, Cassie, Jessica and Chris and my mom and dad next week and Erin this week.  It’s going to be a great summer!

In Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, the Queen of Hearts makes a profound statement, “My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.”  I’ve been in NYC now for 17 months and the Queen of Hearts pretty much summed up my experience.  First, don’t read that as all negative.  I think I’m wired to appreciate, enjoy or endure the pace here (or maybe just a little touched in the head).  The pace is a natural result of cramming 8.4 million people in a very small space.  To put it in perspective, the population density of NYC is 27,532/sq. mile.  If you add in the metro area, the number grows to more than 19 million people.  This is why there are 507 restaurants in a 1 mile radius from my apartment on the Upper West Side (according to Yelp).  That’s not a typo…507!  You can get anything you want, anytime of day or night.  Most everything I need can be found within a block from my apartment.  

Great food, farmers markets, museums, transportation, doctor, dentist, laundry (which is always delivered to my door), entertainment (movies, concerts, shows, parks, etc), street fairs, and on and on.

As far as getting around, public transportation is not a luxury, it’s a necessity if you want to be anywhere on time.  But it’s also extremely convenient.  I have 4 buses that stop at the front door to my apartment building.  There are 2 express and 2 local subway lines within 3 blocks.  Taxi’s are everywhere.  I have left my apartment to go to the airport at 3:30 in the morning and have never waited more than 1 – 2 minutes on a taxi or limo to pick me up.

From a work perspective, lines blur between work and personal life.  Meetings with vendors that in any other place would take days to set up usually can happen within hours.  The majority of the companies we do business with have offices within 2 blocks of my office.  Most within 1 block.  Having so much access however is a double-edged sword.  A lot of things can get done very quickly but it’s also difficult to cut things off, especially since there are so many restaurants, deli’s and pubs where business can continue uninterrupted well into the evening.

However, this all does come with a price, at least for me.  Granted, everyone living here has a different experience, but for me I find myself often getting sucked in like a vortex to the busyness and pace.  It can consume you if you’re not careful to take time to stop and breath (which isn’t easy).  Hours, days and weeks start to blur into one continuous, non stop dance.  It’s funny, because I don’t ever really realize this until I step away.

Two weeks ago, I went back to Cleveland for Cassie’s High School graduation.  I’m so proud of her.  She is so creative and beautiful and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for her.  After the graduation, Laura and I went away for a long weekend to Charleston, SC.  It took me a while to step out of NY mode.  I had a hard time sitting still.  Lines in restaurants were unbearable and traffic annoyed me beyond belief.  Laura helped me tremendously by reminding me to relax, slow down, smell the roses (actually it was Jasmine and it was in full bloom in Charleston).  She is my better half and proves it constantly.  I had to actually remind myself that Cleveland and Charleston are the norm, that NYC is the outlier.  As exciting and intoxicating as the rat race of NYC is, it’s not how most people live.  Being with Laura in Charleston was amazing.  It was like hitting a reset button on my life.  It made me take stock of what’s really important in life and refocus my attention.

This is why so many people flee the City as soon as it gets warm.  Today is Memorial Day and this weekend, the City has been eerily quiet.  It’s like everybody left to go to the beach or the Hampton’s or really anywhere but here.

That’s a good segue for something else I want to say.  I want to take a minute this Memorial Day to honor the life and sacrifice of Major Odell Lee Riley, Jr.  He was Laura’s dad and my father in law.  He was a Fighter Pilot in the Air Force and gave the ultimate sacrifice for his country, but I also owe him an eternal thanks for bringing Laura into the world. I wish I could have met him. Laura means everything to me and I’m counting the weeks, days, minutes and seconds until we’re together again.

So, let me close with another quote from Alice in Wonderland.  “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.  “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.  “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.  “You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”

It dawned on me this past weekend that I haven’t posted to the blog in several weeks.  First, let me apologize for the silence.  I spent some time actually contemplating the reason for not posting more often (yeah, I was that bored).  It could be that I really miss having Laura with me every day.  She is after all my soul partner, best friend and the love of my life.  In fact, we just celebrated our 30th Anniversary in April. 30 years of bliss!  Or maybe it’s from missing my kids.  I love spending time with the best kids a dad could ever hope for.  Well, maybe it’s that I’m just too busy with work.  All of those things are true but none of them would make me stop writing.  I mean yeah, I miss Laura, but I’ve missed her from the beginning when I was writing a few times each month.  Same goes for my kids.  Actually, I’ve seen the kids a good bit this year.  They have all spent a good bit of time in NY in addition to the time I have been home in TN.  As far as work goes, it’s crazy during the week but the weekends are pretty free.  No, there could only be one reason….THIS WINTER!

I’ve endured some rough winters in my 52 years.  I even have experience with NYC winters, having lived here last year.  But this winter hurt me…and I’m a winter person.  I actually prefer fall over spring and winter (normal winters) over the summer heat.  This winter changed everything.  It was freezing and unrelenting.  I think it snowed 2 – 4 inches every week from January through March.  There were weeks the temperature didn’t get above 15 degrees.  And what made it worse was the wind.  When you walk between buildings, especially on the avenues running east/west, the buildings serve as a wind tunnel, so 25 mile per hour winds would actually be 40 miles per hour between the buildings.  When it’s 4 degrees, ice on the ground and a 40 mph wind hits your face, it feels like your skin is going to peel off.  My eyes actually hurt from the cold.  Nothing you do or wear makes you comfortable.  To top it off, you rarely see the sun in the winter.  Sunrise is around 6:30am and sunset is 4:30pm during January.  So all I wanted to is sleep, eat and sit on the couch with layers on wrapped up in a blanket my grandmother quilted for me years ago.  This is the first year I think I actually suffered from SAD (Seasonal Adjusted Disorder).  It makes you dread going outside.

So, I didn’t write because I was frozen.  New experiences were few and far between. But then something happened.  SPRING!!!!

The City is absolutely beautiful in the Spring.  Living here is like living in a huge work of art, a living sculpture.  The parks and boulevards come alive with flowers.  The cherry trees blossom and even the buildings seem to shimmer a little brighter.  As harsh as the winters are here, the springs more than make up for it with the low humidity, and beauty you can find everywhere.  During the winter, the sidewalks are barren but in the spring, tables spring from coffee shops, cafe’s, and diners.  Runners fill the parks along side the kids and dogs playing on the grass.  If you can survive the cold of January and February and the heat of August, all the other months make this an amazing place to live and work.  This past Saturday, I spent the afternoon with some friends at one of our favorite spots to eat wings, sliders and the best tater tots I’ve ever eaten to watch the Kentucky Derby.  To our surprise, we actually felt like we were there.  The men wore white derby hats and the women looked like they walked straight out of Churchill Downs.  There was a bluegrass band playing before the race and everyone was really into the experience.  Only in the spring, only in NYC!

So, now that it’s warmer, I’ll try to post more.  This month, Cassie graduates from Walker Valley High School so I’m looking forward to spending some quality time in TN with the whole family celebrating her accomplishments.  Until next time…enjoy the Spring….I know I will.

First of all, many apologies for not posting a blog in a couple of months.  The holidays hit and were amazing.  I got to spend the week of Thanksgiving in TN plus I was home for nearly two weeks at Christmas which was much-needed.  We moved into our new apartment at 96th and Columbus, still on the Upper West Side, all in preparation for Laura moving up in January.   Well, after much discussion and prayer, Laura and I both felt she should stay in Tennessee for another 6 months until Cassie graduates from Walker Valley High School and Conor finishes his Sophomore year at UTC.  I waited a year, I can wait 6 more months.  Family will always come first.  The good news is that Laura is moving here July 1 and Conor is going to spend the summer in NYC with us working as an intern in the City.  I can’t wait!!

Well, this past year has been surreal.  It truly is a tale of two cities, in this case Cleveland TN and New York City.  I’ve learned so much the past 12 months about myself, my family, my priorities and my communities.  I love Cleveland, it is and always will be HOME.  I don’t use that word “home” lightly anymore.  Home truly is where the heart is and I will always be a Southerner.  Having said that, I have learned to love New York City.  The City has welcomed me with open arms and adopted me without strings.  The amazing thing about NYC is how truly wonderful the people are…once you get to know them.  Diversity here isn’t a goal, it’s a reality.  Everyone is from someplace else, trying to fit in, trying to “make it”.  It truly is a melting pot with all the good and bad that comes with cramming 8 million people on an island.  It’s probably the most efficient City on the planet.  Every day I am amazed that everything (actually anything) functions.  The hardest part of living here is the homeless situation.  WIth 52,000 homeless, you see it everyday in every area of the City.  The problem can be overwhelming and is definitely heart wrenching.  All you can do is give relief one person at a time.  Soon I’m going to start volunteering with Hope For New York.  It’s a great organization that works directly with the homeless.

So in this year, what are some of the main things I’ve learned.  Here are a few:

• Family is everything – I’ve always known this and said this.  However, I could never have done this without the love and support of an amazing family.  Laura is my rock and my soul mate.  My kids are everything.
• Faith in God is my foundation – I never have to be alone
• Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder (see above).  Laura, I love you!!!
• Community is vital – A strong network of people who have your back and truly care for one another is essential.  As people, we are made for community.  My faith community is essential both in Cleveland and NYC.  My work community is also an essential part of making life happen.
• Art is important – NYC taught me that.  Art was never a big part of my life but here, it’s an important part of the CIty experience.  It’s intertwined with daily life.  There is amazing art everywhere…from the museums to the subways.
• Proscuitto is a gift from God.
• Real bagels can only be found in NYC
• Real biscuits can only be found in the South
• I love food
• I love food
• I love food
• NYC is a runners paradise
• Tennessee is the most beautiful place in the US
• Technology has been a life saver for me (FaceTime, Facebook, Social Media in general).  It helps me stay connected to both of my CIties..both of my worlds.
• NYC IS EXPENSIVE!!!
• I love showing friends around my adopted City.
• New friends add so much color to the tapestry of life
• Old friends add so much depth to the tapestry of life
• January in NYC is miserable
• August in Tennessee is miserable
• Summers are better in NYC
• Winters are better in TN

That’s enough for now.  I’ll try to stay more consistent with my blog updates.  Until next time….

The NYC marathon was held today covering 26.2 miles through all 5 boroughs of New York City, ending in Central Park.  The race goes through Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx and back in Manhattan.   I’m not sure if it’s a race in the middle of a 26.2 mile party or a party with a race in the background.  Everywhere along the route there are food booths, bands, and millions of spectators screaming at the top of their lungs for their favorite runner or runners.  I walked down to 59th and 6th near the end of the race to watch the spectacle.  One of my colleagues at work is in a band called “Cool Shoes” that was playing there, so I wanted to be there to support him.  The first thing that struck me was how well-organized everything was and how much security was present.  The police presence on foot, horseback and above (spotters on cranes and in helicopters) was impressive, and comforting.  The police force here are the best in the world and when they want to secure something…it will be secured.

The race really made me appreciate how great this city is for runners.  I’ve been a runner for two and a half years now.  I started the day I turned 50.  It was probably a mid-life crisis but I guess it’s cheaper than buying a corvette.  I started running because I was fat and out of shape.  Since that time, I’ve lost 30 lbs and my resting heart rate has dropped 22 beats per minute.  My goal is to run 15 – 20 miles per week.  Some weeks I don’t hit my goal but I’ve never stopped running.  When I moved to NYC, I was pleasantly surprised to find amazing running routes.  This was good because my motivation for running changed.  Instead of losing weight, I started running to not gain weight because of the amazing food here in New York.  So I run to eat….One of my favorite running areas is Riverside park near where I live on the Upper West Side.  Riverside park is a 4 mile stretch of beautiful land running alongside the Hudson River from 72nd to 158th street.  There are big beautiful trees, benches, flowers and art work all along the park.  I like it because it’s asphalt, which is a very runner friendly surface.  It’s also flat but has great areas of hill work all along the path.  I usually do short runs during the week in Riverside.  Anywhere from 2 – 4 miles.

For longer runs like 5 – 8 miles, I love Central Park.  Central Park is a runners paradise.  It has a perfect 6.1 mile oval route around the inside of the entire park.  An excellent time to run is when the park is closed to traffic, Monday through Friday from 10AM – 3PM and 7PM – 10PM and also on the weekends starting at 7PM on Friday through 6AM on Monday.   I love running the 1.5 miles around the Jacqueline Kennedy reservoir because it has a hard dirt path and the scenery is breathtaking.   Cat Hill (medium difficulty), named because you pass a statue of a wildcat on the side of the hill and Harlem Hill (hard difficulty) keep the course challenging.  You can run in Central Park and feel like you’re miles away from the City.  Plus, every time I run, I’m amazed at the eclectic nature of other people I see along the way.  Painters, yoga masters, and just plain strangely dressed people fill the park.  It’s never dull, trust me.  

If you’re ever in the City and want to run, look me up.  I love running with others and would enjoy showing you some of the routes.  Plus, these are just two of the many running routes Manhattan has to offer, not to mention the other boroughs.  Too much to explore, so little time.

Before I close, I did want to mention some excitement I had the last week.  I came back to the apartment from a run one evening after work and there were 6 fire trucks in front of my apartment.  Apparently, the temporary awning that workers were using next to my building caught fire.  FDNY was there within 2 minutes and it was an impressive site.  No one was ever in danger but I was impressed with the efficiency and professionalism of the Fire Department.

Well, Laura comes this Friday for two weeks.  Then I go back to TN with her for a week over Thanksgiving to see the family.  After that, there are only a couple of weeks before she moves here with me for good.  We move into our new apartment 11/18.  It’s been a long 10 months without her here by my side every day.  I can’t wait to have her here.  She’s not only my best friend but the love of my life.  I’m sure you get tired of me writing that but I’m so excited I feel like a kid at Christmas.  We will be attending a black tie gala on 11/14 at the Waldorf Astoria for my work.  I can’t wait for her to meet everyone I work with.  Oh well, until next time, be blessed!

A friend of mine (former colleague from IBM) from Nashville called me last week just to see how things were going in NYC.  After some small talk, she really ticked me off.  She said I was losing my Southern accent.  Those are fighting words.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being in NY but I will always be somewhat of a fish out of water.  I will always be a Southerner, no matter how long we’re here.  I’m very proud of my Southern roots and Southern heritage.  My “thing” here, is that I’m from the South and I won’t give that up.  She went on to soften it and say my I had just lost a little of my “twang”.  I think I need a nice long trip to Polk County, TN.  To spend a long afternoon in Reliance at the Webb Brother’s store sitting on the front porch talking Trout fishing.  That will bring the “twang” back in a hurry.

Then she asked me a question that I initially downplayed but has stuck with me all week.  She asked me what I missed most since I’ve been in NYC for the last 10 months.  Of course, I miss Laura so much, and the kids.  I miss my parents and friends.  But everyone knows those things.  She wanted to know what I missed most about living in the South.  Food came to mind, I miss good biscuits, even though Jacob’s Pickles on the Upper West Side rivals any biscuit I’ve ever had below the Mason Dixon line.  I miss good barbecue, but Hill Country in Chelsea fills that void nicely.  I also miss Saturday’s with the college football atmosphere, specifically UGA.  But I’ve even found a place that is the UGA HQ on Saturday’s where 100’s of UGA fans congregate and cheer on the Dawgs.  It’s just like being in Athens.  After a lot of thought, it struck me.  The things I really miss most are fairly simple, Mountains, Stars and Crickets.  There is nothing like living near the Smokey Mountains.  There are mountains in NY, but they’re different, not as pretty as the mountains in TN.  As far as Stars go, with all the lights in NYC, you just can’t see them….ever.  I miss them.  At night, the sound of Crickets always puts me out like a light.  No Crickets here in the City, at least not enough to hear.  Now there are other things I miss, like nice soft accents.  However, I have enough Southern expats around to make it tolerable.  My secretary is even from Louisiana and can turn on the “twang” with the best of them.  I also miss open space in restaurants, fried food, parking spaces (even though I don’t drive) and reasonable prices.  But all in all, I wouldn’t trade this adventure for anything and when Laura joins me in a few weeks (yes, just a few weeks) life will be amazing again.

Enough about that, there are just a couple of other things I want to share in this update.  First, if you’re ever in NYC and find your way to the Upper West Side, you have to make a trip to the French Roast Cafe.  The French Roast is “old NY” at it’s finest.  They have the best humus I’ve ever had.  Great food, great coffee and a beautiful place.  Dining on the sidewalk on a beautiful fall afternoon is truly special.  It rivals Cafe Lola (from “You’ve got Mail”) which is just two blocks away as my favorite cafe’s in the City.

The last thing I want to mention is the subject of “pointing” or “repointing” in the CIty.  If you’re ever in NYC, you will inevitably see scaffolding around the base of many of the buildings.  In fact, when I moved in my apartment on West End Avenue last January, scaffolding completely surrounded the building and it’s still there.  Apparently, every 5 years, each building has to go through a repointing process where they test and replace the mortar between EVERY BRICK.  This process can take 1 – 2 years.  This really frustrates business owners and people who live on the 2nd or 3rd floor of buildings since it destroys their view.  But it does keep the City safe and looking beautiful.  One interesting fact as far as views go, when skyscrapers are built, they have the option to buy the air rights from other surrounding buildings.  Basically, they buy the air above all the buildings nearby to protect their views.  These air rights can cost multiple millions of dollars but they guarantee views for the owners of the buildings.  I love the idea and makes for good neighbors.  Well, thanks for reading and be blessed!

If you can’t tell from the title, this weeks update on my NYC adventures will be loosely connected at best and totally random at worst.  A lot has happened since my last blog entry.  Namely, Laura (the love of my life) was here for several days.  Those were the best days I’ve had since moving here.  It nearly killed me when she left, it’s been hard to shake off the funk her departure put me in.  However, I know it’s just another month before she comes back for a week and I return with her for Thanksgiving.  Anyway, while she was here, we had a blast.  We went to beautiful Beacon Theater to see Earth, Wind and Fire (they’re actually older than me…in their 60’s, but are in their prime).

We ate a lot of course, walked all through Central Park, even getting lost near the lake (my fault), introduced her to my staff at work, took her to some of my favorite places, and even saw a motorcycle gang of business men in suits (only in NYC).

Most important, searched for our future home, an apartment for two.  The apartment I’m in is really small but in a great location on the Upper West Side.  No way we could live here for more than a couple of weeks.  Apartment hunting in NYC is not for the faint of heart.  First, the competition is fierce.  There is less than 1% occupancy on any given day.  In order to find anything decent, you need a broker.  The first time I found this out I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard.  Who needs a broker to rent an apartment?  I can understand if I were buying, but renting…come on.  But it’s true, the brokers have the inside track on things hitting the market and can get access to the apartment managers.  There are such things as “no fee” apartments, but they’re either in terrible locations, or super expensive (by NYC standards).  Plus, there is so much competition, many apartment managers won’t return calls if you don’t have a broker.  Now just to put things in perspective, brokers typically charge 15% of the first years rent!  I have made some good contacts here so we got one to ONLY CHARGE 10%.  Now renting an apartment in the City will typically cost you 5x – 8x the cost of an apartment in a city like Chattanooga so you can do the math.  In addition, you have to typically pay one months rent for a security deposit and one month rent up front.  Nothing here is easy…or cheap.  On the plus side, he helped us find a place in one day.  We found the perfect apartment for us on 96th and Columbus.

We will only be 1 block from Central Park (we even have a view of the park from our front window), all new kitchen and bathrooms, doorman and gym in a beautiful building on the Upper West Side.  Also there is a Whole Foods next door and a coffee shop on the first floor of the building.  We’re very near Columbia University with easy access to the 1 (local) or 2 or 3 (express) as well as the C, D subways.  So we’re excited….and our wallet is a lot lighter.  I’ll move into the new place in November and Laura will join me in December.

Switching gears, one of the cool things about living in NYC is all the TV shows and movies that are filmed here.  So many shows I watch, I recognize places I visit or see everyday which is exciting (at least to me but I’m easily excitable).  Thursday morning, I walked out of my apartment headed to work and West End boulevard (where my apartment is) had been transformed into a TV backdrop.

Right in front of my apartment, sitting on the back of a truck are several of the cast members from the Michael J. Fox show, just not him.  The food truck was nearby and scores of people were setting up lights, cameras, etc.  There were 4 semi’s and 2 trailers plus a large food tent, just to film one scene.  Naturally, I was late to work as I slowly walked toward my train just taking it all in.  Several shows have filmed in my neighborhood since I’ve been here (Smash, Person of Interest, Blue Bloods and Elementary) plus a few movies.  It’s an interesting, exciting place to live.

It seems there is always something happening here.  On Saturday after my run in the park, I had a hard time getting back to my apartment because they had closed down Broadway for the “Grand Marian Parade of New York”.  I’m not sure what it’s all about (something to do with the Latin community and the Catholic church) but there were some of the most colorful, eccentric floats and people I have ever seen.  Latin music was blaring and the people in the parade were having an absolute blast.

The weather here has been incredible, low 70’s, bright sunny days of low humidity, perfect for running.  However the days are getting shorter.  I used to run at 5:45, but it’s still dark so now I have to wait until 6:15 or so.  Every season has it’s pros and cons but I wouldn’t trade fall for anything.  The weather is perfect, my Dawgs are playing their hearts out every Saturday, and the Braves are in the playoffs.  Now if my Falcons could get it in gear, my sports life would be complete.  That’s it for now, thanks for reading!

I’ve come to the realization that even though I’m somewhat of a control freak, there are some things, particularly about New York CIty, that I just have to accept and move on.  First, even though I’ve lost over 30 lbs since my 50th birthday (2 years ago for those keeping score), the last 15 just may not be there for the taking.  I lost the weight running, and I still run.  But there is so much amazing food in NY, I now have to run more just to keep off the 30 I lost.  I try to be good, but it seems everything here is centered around food.  The best of everything can be found anywhere in the City.  There are 200 restaurants in a half mile radius from my apartment….and they’re all amazing.  They can’t afford to stay open if they’re not great.  In the winter, it’s too cold to stay outside so everyone congregates in one of the bakeries, cafe’s, coffee shops or diners that can be found everywhere.  In the spring and summer, restaurants set up tables on the sidewalk that beckon you to come, sit and stuff your face with all sorts of wonderful dishes.  American, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai cuisine and on and on are everywhere.  If you can resist that, well, they close off large blocks of the neighborhood streets and move the food outside and have huge street fairs.  Who can resist fried pies, crepes, fresh fruit, steak and chicken pies and assorted kabobs when the smell from the grills fills the City streets?

Apparently not me!  So I run to eat.  I’m fine with that.  If I can get in 15 – 20 miles a week I can pretty much eat what I like.  To lose the extra 15, I might have to run 30 – 40 miles a week.  That would mean getting up at 4:00 am..so that’s doubtful.  Which leads me to the second area that I can’t control.

The pace of this City is unbelievable, which will certainly accelerate the graying of my hair to a snowy white.  In my past, I’ve worked for IBM and travelled the country helping clients, but even in that role there were stretches of down time.  I had more time to read, think and contemplate life.  In New York, it’s like you always have to be on.  Work is busy but manageable.  But having 8 million people on an island means most of my business partners and associates that I need to deal with have locations within walking distance of my office.  When I worked at BCBS TN in Chattanooga, anytime a vendor wanted to meet with me, they usually had to set the meeting up days or often weeks in advance to allow time to travel to Chattanooga (which isn’t that easy).  This meant things didn’t happen as quickly but it also meant there was more time to plan, to strategize or just to eat lunch.  In NYC, 98% of my vendors and business partners have offices near mine.  We can meet the same day I need them, which is great from an execution standpoint, but leaves no slack time.  We can meet for lunch or dinner or even breakfast.  This really isn’t a complaint, in fact it’s usually an advantage…but it does have a price.  You always have to be on.  There’s another thing about the proximity of everyone and the sheer number of people you come in contact with that should be mentioned. Having everyone near and accessible is great for networking and getting things done.  However, it makes building real community difficult.  I firmly believe people are at their happiest and most fulfilled when they have intimacy, love and community as a foundation to lean on.  There is no shortage of people here to be with, but there is a shortage of community.  This is why there is so much loneliness in a City of 8 million people.  I was talking to a colleague last week who is single.  She was saying that it’s so hard to find someone to have a long-term relationship with in the City because there are too many choices.  After a few dates, some type of issue or disagreement will inevitably come up and it’s just too easy to move on to someone else.  The pace of life and the inordinate volume of “choices” can make this a very lonely place to live.  For me, my foundation is my family and my faith.  Laura is my rock and with my kids give me all the fulfillment I need to survive anything.  My community of like-minded believers keeps me grounded and accountable.  I don’t know how people survive without that in their life.

NYC is a great place be but it has to be managed.  It looks like I’ll have to keep running to keep the weight off.  I also have to keep up my connections to family and faith to stay balanced.  This way maybe I can help others find the community they so desperately need.