In Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, the Queen of Hearts makes a profound statement, “My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.”  I’ve been in NYC now for 17 months and the Queen of Hearts pretty much summed up my experience.  First, don’t read that as all negative.  I think I’m wired to appreciate, enjoy or endure the pace here (or maybe just a little touched in the head).  The pace is a natural result of cramming 8.4 million people in a very small space.  To put it in perspective, the population density of NYC is 27,532/sq. mile.  If you add in the metro area, the number grows to more than 19 million people.  This is why there are 507 restaurants in a 1 mile radius from my apartment on the Upper West Side (according to Yelp).  That’s not a typo…507!  You can get anything you want, anytime of day or night.  Most everything I need can be found within a block from my apartment.  

Great food, farmers markets, museums, transportation, doctor, dentist, laundry (which is always delivered to my door), entertainment (movies, concerts, shows, parks, etc), street fairs, and on and on.

As far as getting around, public transportation is not a luxury, it’s a necessity if you want to be anywhere on time.  But it’s also extremely convenient.  I have 4 buses that stop at the front door to my apartment building.  There are 2 express and 2 local subway lines within 3 blocks.  Taxi’s are everywhere.  I have left my apartment to go to the airport at 3:30 in the morning and have never waited more than 1 – 2 minutes on a taxi or limo to pick me up.

From a work perspective, lines blur between work and personal life.  Meetings with vendors that in any other place would take days to set up usually can happen within hours.  The majority of the companies we do business with have offices within 2 blocks of my office.  Most within 1 block.  Having so much access however is a double-edged sword.  A lot of things can get done very quickly but it’s also difficult to cut things off, especially since there are so many restaurants, deli’s and pubs where business can continue uninterrupted well into the evening.

However, this all does come with a price, at least for me.  Granted, everyone living here has a different experience, but for me I find myself often getting sucked in like a vortex to the busyness and pace.  It can consume you if you’re not careful to take time to stop and breath (which isn’t easy).  Hours, days and weeks start to blur into one continuous, non stop dance.  It’s funny, because I don’t ever really realize this until I step away.

Two weeks ago, I went back to Cleveland for Cassie’s High School graduation.  I’m so proud of her.  She is so creative and beautiful and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for her.  After the graduation, Laura and I went away for a long weekend to Charleston, SC.  It took me a while to step out of NY mode.  I had a hard time sitting still.  Lines in restaurants were unbearable and traffic annoyed me beyond belief.  Laura helped me tremendously by reminding me to relax, slow down, smell the roses (actually it was Jasmine and it was in full bloom in Charleston).  She is my better half and proves it constantly.  I had to actually remind myself that Cleveland and Charleston are the norm, that NYC is the outlier.  As exciting and intoxicating as the rat race of NYC is, it’s not how most people live.  Being with Laura in Charleston was amazing.  It was like hitting a reset button on my life.  It made me take stock of what’s really important in life and refocus my attention.

This is why so many people flee the City as soon as it gets warm.  Today is Memorial Day and this weekend, the City has been eerily quiet.  It’s like everybody left to go to the beach or the Hampton’s or really anywhere but here.

That’s a good segue for something else I want to say.  I want to take a minute this Memorial Day to honor the life and sacrifice of Major Odell Lee Riley, Jr.  He was Laura’s dad and my father in law.  He was a Fighter Pilot in the Air Force and gave the ultimate sacrifice for his country, but I also owe him an eternal thanks for bringing Laura into the world. I wish I could have met him. Laura means everything to me and I’m counting the weeks, days, minutes and seconds until we’re together again.

So, let me close with another quote from Alice in Wonderland.  “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.  “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.  “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.  “You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”

It dawned on me this past weekend that I haven’t posted to the blog in several weeks.  First, let me apologize for the silence.  I spent some time actually contemplating the reason for not posting more often (yeah, I was that bored).  It could be that I really miss having Laura with me every day.  She is after all my soul partner, best friend and the love of my life.  In fact, we just celebrated our 30th Anniversary in April. 30 years of bliss!  Or maybe it’s from missing my kids.  I love spending time with the best kids a dad could ever hope for.  Well, maybe it’s that I’m just too busy with work.  All of those things are true but none of them would make me stop writing.  I mean yeah, I miss Laura, but I’ve missed her from the beginning when I was writing a few times each month.  Same goes for my kids.  Actually, I’ve seen the kids a good bit this year.  They have all spent a good bit of time in NY in addition to the time I have been home in TN.  As far as work goes, it’s crazy during the week but the weekends are pretty free.  No, there could only be one reason….THIS WINTER!

I’ve endured some rough winters in my 52 years.  I even have experience with NYC winters, having lived here last year.  But this winter hurt me…and I’m a winter person.  I actually prefer fall over spring and winter (normal winters) over the summer heat.  This winter changed everything.  It was freezing and unrelenting.  I think it snowed 2 – 4 inches every week from January through March.  There were weeks the temperature didn’t get above 15 degrees.  And what made it worse was the wind.  When you walk between buildings, especially on the avenues running east/west, the buildings serve as a wind tunnel, so 25 mile per hour winds would actually be 40 miles per hour between the buildings.  When it’s 4 degrees, ice on the ground and a 40 mph wind hits your face, it feels like your skin is going to peel off.  My eyes actually hurt from the cold.  Nothing you do or wear makes you comfortable.  To top it off, you rarely see the sun in the winter.  Sunrise is around 6:30am and sunset is 4:30pm during January.  So all I wanted to is sleep, eat and sit on the couch with layers on wrapped up in a blanket my grandmother quilted for me years ago.  This is the first year I think I actually suffered from SAD (Seasonal Adjusted Disorder).  It makes you dread going outside.

So, I didn’t write because I was frozen.  New experiences were few and far between. But then something happened.  SPRING!!!!

The City is absolutely beautiful in the Spring.  Living here is like living in a huge work of art, a living sculpture.  The parks and boulevards come alive with flowers.  The cherry trees blossom and even the buildings seem to shimmer a little brighter.  As harsh as the winters are here, the springs more than make up for it with the low humidity, and beauty you can find everywhere.  During the winter, the sidewalks are barren but in the spring, tables spring from coffee shops, cafe’s, and diners.  Runners fill the parks along side the kids and dogs playing on the grass.  If you can survive the cold of January and February and the heat of August, all the other months make this an amazing place to live and work.  This past Saturday, I spent the afternoon with some friends at one of our favorite spots to eat wings, sliders and the best tater tots I’ve ever eaten to watch the Kentucky Derby.  To our surprise, we actually felt like we were there.  The men wore white derby hats and the women looked like they walked straight out of Churchill Downs.  There was a bluegrass band playing before the race and everyone was really into the experience.  Only in the spring, only in NYC!

So, now that it’s warmer, I’ll try to post more.  This month, Cassie graduates from Walker Valley High School so I’m looking forward to spending some quality time in TN with the whole family celebrating her accomplishments.  Until next time…enjoy the Spring….I know I will.